The only thing you can be truly certain of is yourself. Everyone else’s existence is their own to understand completely, and despite your best efforts, some part of them you will forever be in ignorance of. A friend of mine told me the other day about the Japanese beliefs in three hearts existing in any one individual. The first is your outer counteneance, or how the world generally percieves you. The second is your deepest opinions, your vulnerability and passions that make up your inner soul, and the third is your own only- the things you will never be able to share with anyone. And while all this information may be entirely inaccurate, I think the sentiment is in many ways profoundly true. I’m the kind of person who wears their heart on their sleeve, to the point where it actually deeply disturbs me when I feel like I’m being dishonest. That doesn’t mean I never lie or am above witholding information, but I always feel guilty or wrong doing so. I don’t think I have an understanding of what is too much for anyone to hear, so much so that I find it extremely difficult just to say that I’m fine when someone asks how I am even though I am quite the opposite. I still do, but I do so with great labour.
I don’t really know if people appreciate this quality about me or think its just downright annoying and unnecessary. Especially recently I feel as though the average person does not want to drop into their deeper opinions or true thoughts on any given situation or the nature of the world. Small talk is pleasant. Small talk is well received, because in many ways it is cold, tactical, and unfeeling. I think people are genuinely afraid to be ignited by other people.
